Monday, December 21, 2015

Owl see what I see.

When I make abstracts it goes a little something like this: 

I take a picture of our Christmas tree close up (actually, I had the peacock take my picture because he takes better shots than I do) and then I turn the picture upside down.
Then I paint that. 

This is obviously a close up of our pink owl ornament.....

Too Close Owl (2015)
Acrylic on canvas panel 6x6

Either that, or it could be tits. 
We all interpret art in our own way. 

Monday, December 14, 2015

An American in Paris

They say Paris is the city of Love...........

Well, the day we went to the Eiffel Tower for the first time, our family was not in love with each other. We were at each other's throats.
It was hot.
We were all hungry.
It was hot. There were crowds and the crowds were massive....I hate, hate, hate crowds. Especially when it's hot.
The 8 year old was upset that the tour bus was not an open top, but just a regular bus (Hell, I didn't know this when I booked the tour).
The goldfish wanted to roam free without restriction and didn't want to ride in the carrier (crowds don't seem to deter her in any way of what she plans to be doing).
The peacock was mad at all of us for whining and being so dysfunctional. (The following day he discovered the word "Hangry" while over hearing this group of ladies gossiping at the park....and then the day all made sense to him, but I digress)
IT WAS HOT!!!!!!

Thank God for the amazingly engineered fountain (this was all the peacock could talk about for days afterward) across the way from the Eiffel tower (Way to go Paris!) and the crepe cart.
And Thank God for the Eiffel tower at night (when it's not hot)
I'm in Love.

Night walk in Paris (2015)
Acrylic on Clayboard with 2 inch profile sides

Let's put the children on the next open top bus tour with some crepes and book it back to the hotel. 

Monday, December 7, 2015

What's on your shelf

I must admit I painted this, and I'm at a loss for words with how to speak to it. I feel it speaks for itself. 

Here's the background story of why I painted this portrait. 
It began as a challenge from the peacock. 
He texted me this crazy picture of Trump and said
"I know it's not pretty, but I think you should paint this. It's just so crazy." 

So, I gave it a try. 

And it worked out, so I decided that the most fitting attire for Donald Trump by far would be an Elf on the Shelf suit. We call our's 

"Ass on a Shelf." (2015)
Acrylic on canvas panel 16x8

Every night he reports to himself and informs of who should be deported and who's fired. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

International Trade Agreements

I grew up in a very small town and a wee bit redneck. This is by no means negative, but Jeff Foxworthy jokes make sense to me; either from personal experience or knowing someone with that experience. I find these jokes quite funny.
Well, I got a new one for Mr. Foxworthy.
A true story.
Gunnison is often the coldest spot in the nation and requires for most of us, a wood burning stove.
Well, a wood burning stove requires wood.....lots of it, (winter is really long and really frickin cold). So, every year we would head up into the mountains and gather wood in our old red 1970's International. Let me just say, this truck was a piece, but it mediocrely did it's job every year......very slowly, slowly, slowly, like a sloth. A slow, red, old, 8 track playing sloth, driving at 15mph up into the mountains, getting passed by winter turtles and 90 year old grannies doing cartwheels in snowshoes. (If you think this truck sounds might be a hipster). 

To further paint the utter joy of the wood gathering ceremony, gathering wood is a lot of painful, time consuming work. (You'll definitely need to bring your Cooler along to keep mentally sane). It involves an entire day in the mountains cutting, hauling and stacking wood. You might think, Oh that sounds so nice to be in the mountains all day. NO, you're wrong. You get muddy, angry, sweaty, pissed off, sore, with splinters in your face and sometimes a black eye. This experience is why I don't do Crossfit. In fact, Crossfit should just go get my Dad's wood every year and then stack it up for him for the next 3 days.

Anyways, one year, The International just had enough work and it just refused to go. It wanted to kick back in the garage, hang out with the dead elk heads (let's get real, who doesn't)  But, well, we still needed wood for the winter.
Therefore, my Dad decided it was time.

Wood Haul (2015)
Acrylic on canvas panel 6x12

If you trade your truck for a winter's load of wood.....
You might be a redneck."