Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The Judge

Nine years ago, I birthed this amazing, witty, sensitive, intensely competitive...
I noticed it when he started keeping score with fair portions of treats between his friends and equaling out the numbers. He was always aware of whos turn it was for basically anything, who just had a turn, how many times it was their turn, and who is next. Very innocent, basic preschool fairness to an extreme. Then he got older and found sports, and well, the fairness went from extreme to intense. 

Now, before I go on, don't get me wrong, he plays by the rules. Even more so, makes sure that YOU play by the rules and holds all refs, umpires, judges, etc. accountable for their interpretation of the rules. 

When he was 6 (three years ago) this boy wrote a letter to a home plate umpire in a regular season MLB game over a strike out to Troy Tulowitzki that was below the knees & clearly not fair...explaining to him how he got the strike zone totally wrong. He then informed him that because he was wrong, the game needed to be replayed for fairness. 

(I didn't know who to mail this letter to and it was somewhat illegible. I felt kinda bad, but he soon moved on to avenging the next bad call). 

When he was asked to "take a break" from football and soccer at recess this year, he found four square. You know four square, that game that you basically stand in one place and bounce a ball back and forth to each other until someone falls asleep from the boredom of this game...or misses catching the ball & is out. Ya, well, this "judge" has been suspended from 4 square, not once, but TWICE, for losing his shit. Arguing over the game and it's calls. 

"(insert adult supervisor's name) was completely out of their mind today. They called me out, when the rule is that you can't do big bounces and (insert other four square child's name) did a big bounce and it went over MY head, so he should be out...but NO! They called ME out, so I was trying to explain to (Adult supervisor) why they are wrong. 
Mom, the ball WENT OVER MY HEAD! That means it was a big bounce! And those aren't allowed. They called ME out!!! It's not fair! 
That person IS NOT qualified to judge 4 square!"  

Levi (aka The Judge) 2017
Oil on canvas board 6x6

God Bless my son's teachers and recess leaders...seriously, I owe (insert adult supervisor) a drink.
But the ump, who called Tulo out...When I find out how to mail this letter (and to who)....get ready to face the Judge.