Monday, September 5, 2016

My thought process of PoorTraits

I have a backlog going right now (some paintings done & no blog). It was a quick, busy summer and then school started for my children, so blogging and painting went a little by the wayside. I often will overstretch myself with things I do (except exercise...which I need to get better at including). I have an addiction to volunteering and "signing up" for lots of activities with the thought of "that's way in the future, I have plenty of time to figure out the details of making it all work"....and then I procrastinate, panic, and ultimately get anxiety and then stress out the angry peacock, making him super angry frustrated...(who by the way is an engineer by training & therefore uses logic and planning in his thought process, so you can imagine his frustration with my lack of foresight & planning) I ultimately am a master at creating a perfect storm.

Not too long ago I "signed up" for a portrait class several months before it was set to begin, therefore leaving plenty of time to get ready for this class. Plenty.
My thought process went a little something like this:
1. This class looks awesome, I should sign up. (Overstretching)
2. Crap it's on a Tuesday night & the peacock won't like that (but it's only 4 weeks, that's not too long) Plus, I have 2 months to figure out the details. (Anticipated procrastinating)
3. So I call the peacock and let him know my desire to take this awesome art class (Frustration begins)
4. I mention that it's on a Tuesday night for 3 hours (The perfect storm is now in full formation)
I should mention here that Tuesday nights are sacred work nights where the peacock continues his work until late, in order to get things done and be ahead..It's still the start of the work week!.....I have known this for years! YEARS!
5. I explain to the peacock that I will talk with our troop of nannies & work out the Tuesday nights.
6. Mention that it's only 4 weeks and then it's done and stress the awesomeness again!
7. Then, this one was key...State that I WILL NOT take another Tuesday night class until the children are self sufficient! (Frustration somewhat averted, but there are still some far off storm clouds)
8. Therefore, it was a Yes....reluctantly.

So, I took the 4 week portrait class. The goal of the class was to paint 3-4 portraits, small 6x6 size, one each week...

...And I completed one, yep only one. My goal was to paint 3 total; one of each kid and then the peacock. Once again my lofty goals, poortrait procrastination, & complete lack of logic playing their parts to the fullest. The first week we sketched the first portrait to be done. The second week I missed class, as the peacock got home late with a deadline at work (I should mention here, that he had agreed to take Tuesday nights and watch the kids himself, while I went to class). Third class I played catch up and was technically suppose to finish the portrait by the next class, but instead I ended up only staring at it for a week trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with it and why it looked "creepy". So the fourth week of class I came in and finished my portrait. I guess part of my process is embracing my inner creepy. Interestingly, I was not the only one who was still painting the same first portrait, a class of either procrastinators or perfectionists.

Lilah (2016)
6x6 Oil on canvas board 


As I write this, those far off storm clouds seem to be creeping in....I am looking into once again taking this Tuesday night class, because I at least need to get the other child painted.
I'm wondering if the fact that my 8 & 3 year old know where the snacks, water and bathroom are qualifies them as self sufficient.